8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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