In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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