Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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