Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
