Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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