I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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