yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
