he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
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she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
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He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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