You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
