check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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