so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
