Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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