Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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