booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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