I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Say something about gay babies.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
