I wish I only lived at night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
