Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
