I wish I could teleport
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I looked at my own cervix.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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