I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My vagina is officially offended.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
