Will you blow on my dice?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You took a bar mat shot.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
