small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
