ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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