I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
