Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize