so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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