As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
