went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize