So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
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Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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