nut hugger
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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