I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
