He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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