I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
