How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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