forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
now i know why i became what i already was.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
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So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sorry about my life...
soo... how was my night?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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