My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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