No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I want to fling myself into the sun
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