my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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