awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
