i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
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got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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