Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
