they need to just BURY HIM!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
