i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i love accidental penises.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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