reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
