i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
