Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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