I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
