Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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