He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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