I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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