I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize