actually, I'm a sock model
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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