belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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