Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
