But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
